Monday, November 23, 2009

Loving my girls...

Well what can i say...I LOVE my girls! The best decision i have ever made. My surgeon has done a beautiful job, they are in perfect proportion with my body, and feedback from everyone is that they are...big...but really natural. Mission accomplished!

Its been 13 days and i am recovering very fast. I have had minimal pain and didnt need any panadol after day 5. At my one week check up, the nurse was astounded by my speedy recovery, apparently she'd never seen anyone heal so fast. Must be cos i'm so healthy and taking the right supplements =) . Even my GA was happy with my recovery rate. Get this, my scar has just about healed over and is about 1mm thin, you can barely see it! I'm still a little stiff, so changing clothes and washing hair is a bit of a mission, but i'm becoming a little more mobile each day. I've got all my sensation back ( they were numb for the first week), but they still feel like aliens in my chest hee hee.

My nutrition has been paramount at the moment, cos for the next 4 weeks i dont have the luxury of just burning off excess calories. That's right, for the first time in my entire life, i am classified as sendentary! What a horrible word lol. I have also been following John Berardi's Precision Nutrition System. For those of you that havent come across it, it is a MUST READ. His approach to nutrition, training and supplementation is second to none. With his prinicpal of nutrient timing, my hunger is satisfied, my energy levels are great and my cravings are GONE! That's binges...nothing! And those super shakes are to die for, yummo. Lia, you've gotta try them asap!!! I've also been 95% gluten/dairy free (not a requisite for PN, but better for my digestive system) for the last 4 weeks and my skin is glowing like you wouldn't believe.

As of yesterday, i have started walking twice a day. The loop is about 3km and takes about 45min, thats about all i can handle at the moment. It should hopefully be enough to keep me in semi decent shape before i can hit the gym in january. My poor quads are starting to feel a bit on the soft side, being the sendentary soul that i am, but i refuse to let it get to me. I have been staying very positive, cos i know its only temporary. Its only another 4 weeks outta my life. I'm seeing this as just another little mental challenge in my journey. If i can get through 6 weeks of piss weak exercising i can get through ANYTHING.

One thing that has happened to me has made me do a lot of thinking:
I have not weight trained in nearly 3 weeks now, and for that reason i have lost a bit of muscle mass across my shoulders and off my arms. Still got my definition though =) But you know what? I'm actually loving this slighter frame. More of an athletic look for me.

Over the past couple years i have prided myself on big muscles, lifting heavy and that feeling of ultimate strength. My bench press PB is 130 pounds for 6 reps, not to shabby for an el naturale chicky i say! And in doing so i believed that building strength was a way of protecting myself from the Hemorrhoid in my life. Speaking of Hemorrhoid, she broke her silence after 13 days with the big question this morning...Are they heavy??? ...i said no..she said ...ok then... and that was it.. Too funny, i was giggling inside. Anywho, come 2010 i will be taking a different approach to my training. I do love my current training program, so i will chat with my PT about my new physique goals closer to january. I'm guessing we'll increase the reps a bit to work outside of hypertrophy for a little while. I'm not saying that i will go back to lifting princess weights, cos to me they're a waste of time! But right now, i have no desire to build my muscles any bigger than they are now. Sexy and athletic is what i'm gonna be, just like Alicia Marie, yeow!

Saturday, November 14, 2009

Sexy cleavage...My want...not my need.

I was a huge fan of Xena: Warrior Princess when i was younger and thought that Lucy Lawless was just the sexiest girl alive. Strong, beautiful and yes her girls were just smokin! I had to get myself a pair of those girls one day hee hee. But it was something i didnt wanna rush into either. So i saved up my pennies, grew up and now am at a place in my life where i know exactly who i am and what i stand for. I don't NEED boobs, but i definitely WANTED them. So...I bought them.. to complete my figure. ( How funny does that sound lol)

I woke up early wednesday morning to get ready for my big day. I don't think Hemorrhoid actually thought i was serious until i gave her the details for the hospital and boy did she have a fit. I could not believe she was arguing with me just hours before i was going into surgery. Bitch. After telling her to stop stressing me out for the millionth time, i stormed outta the house, and centred myself on the driveway whilst i waited for my friend to pick me up. I was a mix of excitement and nerves.

At the day surgery, the nurse took my stats, which i'm happy to report:
Blood Pressure: 101/67
Heart Rate: 54 bpm.  ( I swore it should have been higher! my heart was pounding)
Weight: 62Kg....hmmm i think the scales might have been out by about 2-3kg, but whatever. Just as long as they gave me enough anaesthetic!

Then my doctor came in, took some before photos, drew on me and told me the op would be a breeze. From there, i got wheeled into the theatre room, the anaesthetist put a needle in my arm, and got me to breathe in pure oxygen and then....wallah...i woke up an hour later with my own set of hot girls! Woot!

Now to give you an idea of my pain factor:
0 is no pain and 10 is excrutiating agony.
I woke up with a 4 and by the time i left the hosipital 2 hours later i was down to a 1. 0.5 to 1 is where i remain now, controlled only by panadol. Pretty happy about that!

So the last few days i've been stuck at home watching dvds and reading my new Precision Nutrition System manual ( that will be another blog) Omg there is SO much swelling. This was so not part of the deal. I feel like 10L of fluid got lost on its way to my bladder and set up camp alongside my ribs and stomach. So uncomforatble, ugh. I'm seeing my GA later this week, so she should be able to move most of it. However, I've been pretty self sufficient, the only thing i cant do is open up the microwave! Its funny the things you take for-granted lol

Now you wouldnt believe this...actually you probably would. Hemorrhoid hasnt even spoken to me! All she has done is yell at me for taking too many supplements! I havent even bothered retaliating which i am very proud of, needless to say i've been boiling inside. Apart from my antibiotics which i'm on for 5 days, i'm only taking Vit C, Traumeel (homeopathic arnica/echinacea) Orthoplex Collagen Pro and Glutamine. Yes they are all to help with inflammation and collagen formation and are giving me a speedy recovery =)

Its been really upseting and i'm trying to not get angry and stressed out. This is suppose to me a really exciting experience for me but yet it has just been hell. I fuckin hate her.

That aside, I also had a pretty amazing conversation with my chiro/kinesiologist on tuesday. I had never brought up my binge eating issue with him in the 2 years he's been treating me. In fact, come to think of it, i really havent spoken to ANYONE openly about it. I guess there's a huge embarassment factor there. Blogging is SO much easier. Anywho, i've wanted to tell him on numerous occasions, but i'd always chicken out. I had barely even spoken a word when the tears started running down my face, by the end of the session everything was so clear.

What i feel:
I need her approval (but really, i dont need ANYONE'S approval, but my own)

What i need to do:
To love and accept myself as i am ( cos she is not gonna change)
To let go of Hemorrhoid.. once and forever

Forgiveness is not part of the plan. Its not my fault.

So that is what i'm working on now. Yes it is hard at times, but it's these challenges that makes life so exciting. What i do know is that i am a beautiful soul with a lot of love to give. My past has made me strong, bloody strong. I have a bright future ahead of me and you bet ya, no one is gonna hold me (and my girls lol) back!


Sunday, November 8, 2009


As far as I'm concerned, Jennifer Nicole Lee is the hottest fitness model on the planet, thats right, she's smokin!

Just like all of us here in blogland, her story is inspirational too. She lost over 90lbs to be crowned Ms Bikini Universe, not once but twice! She is not only a fitness model, but a high profile leader in the world of health and fitness. She is the founder and CEO of her multi-million dollar empire, JNL Inc. And is now a sponsored Team BSN Athlete.

You can check her story out at

To me, JNL represents strength, beauty and brains. These qualities combined with her passion for health and fitness are the secret to her success.

Feminine, athletic and sexy... now this is the look i am going to achieve...and maintain.

12 weeks is the time-frame = 31 January 2010... and yes i will post up a photo to prove it =)

And no, i won't be suiciding myself with hours of training, heck i'm not even allowed to weight train for the next 4-6 weeks. And i also won't be D-I-E-ting as the word suggest. I do not do 'all or nothing approaches', anymore, they are not good for my body or my mind.

Fat loss is simple. FACT. I/We just over-complicate the matter.

So after a few weeks of intense soul searching, i think i have discovered what has been holding me back all these years....Its passion. No not in the lovey dovey sense of the word ( though that would be nice hee hee), but passion in regards to my dreams. I live and breath health and fitness, its what i love. What i have not done is allowed my passion to take control when "Hemorrhoid" dramas have knocked me down, therefore allowing the Binge Monster to take the drivers seat in my life.

So by acknowledging what has been going on in this crazy little head of mine I've started to in-grain some big goals into my subconscious. I know that there are going to be times when i will be tested, but i now know to focus on my bright future ahead, cos this time, my passion is gonna pull me through.


Thursday, November 5, 2009

A BULLSHIT BUBBLE...what a brilliant idea!

What a shit of a week this one has been...and guess what?... Its not even friday, ugh =(. Right now, i feel like a bomb that is just about to explode, and you bet ya...don't get in my way! Work has been crazy, I've been absolutely shattered and i feel like i'm angry at the entire world. And its nearly full moon too- damn water signs. So i've been putting on this half arsed smile to cover up my foul mood and pretending life is just red and rosey... but its not. After a long walk this arvo this is what i'd rationaled:

1. Hemorrhoid has been on the warpath. She's been nagging, yelling, and fighting with the entire household. If her and dad have one more argument, i swear i am gonna lose it! Seriously, whats the point of yelling at people? In the end, you're right back to where you started, it doesnt accomplish anything. And YES my bullshit blinkers are working, but i think i'd just be better off living in a BULLSHIT BUBBLE!

2. I had a really shit house workout today. I trained back and calves, but i couldnt for the life of me put the 'mind in the muscle', so i was getting very disheartened. I dont train well with weights on anger, i lose focus, which is not safe either. I train pretty heavy for an el naturale chicky, so poor technique could result in an injury. So if i'm still all bottled up tomorrow morning, i will be hitting the streets for a nice long walk for some more zen time instead.

3. I am exhuasted... both physically and mentally. Yes i admit it...finally. I'm one of those people who live life at a 1000 miles and hour and only rest when i start getting run down. By then, its too late and my 'time off' ends up being recovery time, and not relaxing time.

To give you an idea, this has been my year in a nutshell:

January to June: THE NIGHTMARE

-Lived, dealt and evicted an alcoholic room mate: Now that was one of the craziest experiences of my life. He got ambo'd outta my house with a blood alcohol reading of 0.46. You read it right, i had a 40yr old drunk vegetarian living in my house, half naked, wearing a purple sarong, cooking steaks on a gas stove at 2am ( N.b he is vegetarian), falling through the walls and windows...literally, urinating in the hallway and driving around the suburbs almost clinically dead. I have never spent so much time with the police until then.

-Broke up with a boyfriend. He made me violently ill. Refer to "My liver is having a Fit"

-Moved house again. Back to Hemmorrhoids' fortress. Now the Cons do out weigh the Pro (n.b. there is no 's' on the end of Pro). But there is a reason for it, which i will get to later, but the Pro is that i do not pay rent.

July to Now: LIFE KEEPS GETTING BETTER...most of the time =)

-Big changes with my work. Our company changed names, and my entire territory changed. I used to look after Bris north to Bundy, now i look after Bri south. Which is a good thing, however it meant starting over again, which was exciting, but still stressful.

-Competed in the QLD INBA figure show.

- Completed my cert 3 + 4 in fitness/PT.

- And in 6 sleeps time, i will have new boobs, woot!

So you see why, i am a little tired!

But the year is not over and i do have to add to my to do list:

Tomorrow i will be contacting my broker to make an appt to re-do my preapproval and get myself a UNIT! Hopefully in the next 6 months, that would be ideal, as i think that is the maximum time that i could slug it out in this hell house that i call home.

On a positive note- i have not binged at all this week to deal with ANY of my emotions. WOOT! My M&P Craving Control Spray is working a treat too, i highly recommend it to anyone who suffers compulsives tendancies like moi.

ahhhh, i think i am un-angry now. What a good vent that was.

Peace is the calm we find within our souls, when the world around us in chaos...i think i just found it.

Smile =)

Wednesday, November 4, 2009

Physique Friendly Salad Dressings???

Does anyone out there in the 'Land of Blog' have any tastey, physique -friendly salad dressings?? Home made or bought, i dont mind. I'm just getting slightly BORED of my 97% fat free mayo lol

Thanks =)