Sexy cleavage...My want...not my need.

I was a huge fan of Xena: Warrior Princess when i was younger and thought that Lucy Lawless was just the sexiest girl alive. Strong, beautiful and yes her girls were just smokin! I had to get myself a pair of those girls one day hee hee. But it was something i didnt wanna rush into either. So i saved up my pennies, grew up and now am at a place in my life where i know exactly who i am and what i stand for. I don't NEED boobs, but i definitely WANTED them. So...I bought them.. to complete my figure. ( How funny does that sound lol)

I woke up early wednesday morning to get ready for my big day. I don't think Hemorrhoid actually thought i was serious until i gave her the details for the hospital and boy did she have a fit. I could not believe she was arguing with me just hours before i was going into surgery. Bitch. After telling her to stop stressing me out for the millionth time, i stormed outta the house, and centred myself on the driveway whilst i waited for my friend to pick me up. I was a mix of excitement and nerves.

At the day surgery, the nurse took my stats, which i'm happy to report:

Blood Pressure: 101/67

Heart Rate: 54 bpm.  ( I swore it should have been higher! my heart was pounding)

Weight: 62Kg....hmmm i think the scales might have been out by about 2-3kg, but whatever. Just as long as they gave me enough anaesthetic!

Then my doctor came in, took some before photos, drew on me and told me the op would be a breeze. From there, i got wheeled into the theatre room, the anaesthetist put a needle in my arm, and got me to breathe in pure oxygen and then....wallah...i woke up an hour later with my own set of hot girls! Woot!

Now to give you an idea of my pain factor:
0 is no pain and 10 is excrutiating agony.
I woke up with a 4 and by the time i left the hosipital 2 hours later i was down to a 1. 0.5 to 1 is where i remain now, controlled only by panadol. Pretty happy about that!

So the last few days i've been stuck at home watching dvds and reading my new Precision Nutrition System manual ( that will be another blog) Omg there is SO much swelling. This was so not part of the deal. I feel like 10L of fluid got lost on its way to my bladder and set up camp alongside my ribs and stomach. So uncomforatble, ugh. I'm seeing my GA later this week, so she should be able to move most of it. However, I've been pretty self sufficient, the only thing i cant do is open up the microwave! Its funny the things you take for-granted lol

Now you wouldnt believe this...actually you probably would. Hemorrhoid hasnt even spoken to me! All she has done is yell at me for taking too many supplements! I havent even bothered retaliating which i am very proud of, needless to say i've been boiling inside. Apart from my antibiotics which i'm on for 5 days, i'm only taking Vit C, Traumeel (homeopathic arnica/echinacea) Orthoplex Collagen Pro and Glutamine. Yes they are all to help with inflammation and collagen formation and are giving me a speedy recovery =)

Its been really upseting and i'm trying to not get angry and stressed out. This is suppose to me a really exciting experience for me but yet it has just been hell. I fuckin hate her.

That aside, I also had a pretty amazing conversation with my chiro/kinesiologist on tuesday. I had never brought up my binge eating issue with him in the 2 years he's been treating me. In fact, come to think of it, i really havent spoken to ANYONE openly about it. I guess there's a huge embarassment factor there. Blogging is SO much easier. Anywho, i've wanted to tell him on numerous occasions, but i'd always chicken out. I had barely even spoken a word when the tears started running down my face, by the end of the session everything was so clear.

What i feel:

I need her approval (but really, i dont need ANYONE'S approval, but my own)

What i need to do:

To love and accept myself as i am ( cos she is not gonna change)

To let go of Hemorrhoid.. once and forever

Forgiveness is not part of the plan. Its not my fault.

So that is what i'm working on now. Yes it is hard at times, but it's these challenges that makes life so exciting. What i do know is that i am a beautiful soul with a lot of love to give. My past has made me strong, bloody strong. I have a bright future ahead of me and you bet ya, no one is gonna hold me (and my girls lol) back!

SMILE =)