Friday, April 22, 2011

Leaping out of the rut

As you know i had got myself into a health rut over the past few weeks. Yes i was training, yes my 'meals' were healthy but the added extras *ahem... junk* were becoming quite frequent. I had lost the enjoyment factor out of my workouts and to be honest i was just feeling downright lost. I was stumped to how i got there in the first place? Life was red and rosey only the week before...

It took me a while of deeeeeeeep thinking to sort myself out. I was even considering seeing a shrink. Don't laugh. Even though i have easily been able to maintain a fabulous figure (i'm not trying to brag, just being positive about my transformation :-) ) for the past year and a bit, 10yrs of yo-yo dieting, binge eating and total body image INSECURITY has kept me (at times) pretty fucked up in the head. I don't always see the sexy body in the mirror that everyone else sees which puts me in a foul mood.

What i realised is that i simply need goals. Big ones, ALL THE TIME, for ALL ASPECTS OF MY LIFE.

Uni goals - i'm striving to achieve 6s (Distinctions) for all my subjects so i'll be accepted into Honours. So studying is not an effort at all. I enjoy it and i make time fore it because i am doing it for a purpose.

Fitness Goals - ummmmm what? I HAD the goal of competing at Asia Pacs until i realised that prepping for a June show would be too stressful whilst i was studying. (INBA QLD titles in september is still at the back of my mind but at the moment, that show is waaaaay too far away). So yeah i was still training hard but i had somehow lost my purpose in the gym. Going through the motions of training does keep you fit and healthy but being average isn't good enough for me. Average is BORING. I NEED MORE.

Nutrition Goals - I'll admit that for me, eating a supercharged nutritious breakfast, lunch and dinner is easy. It's a no-brainer and comes naturally. I've never been into burgers, pizzas, breads, pastas, lasagnes, fatty meats or greasy 'meal foods'. Give me fish and vegies anyday.  BUT i do find that when my FITNESS GOALS are nowhere in sight, i do give EASILY into the Lindt chocolate, Magnum Temptation and the extra tablespoons of PB which gives me short-term satisfaction but long-term hell.

So where does that leave me? Well it occurred to me last night that there is one 'fitness thing' that i haven't been doing for quite a while. Since christmas if i'm not mistaken.

Running OUTSIDE.

Running in the elements has always given me a sense of clarity. It clears my mind, it empowers me and i simply feel free.... and amazing afterwards. The reason i had stopped was because i was getting blisters from my Vibrams as i hadn't bought any Injinji toe socks back then. I own quite a few pairs now. No more blisters, no more Vibram B.O. lol.

So as of this afternoon i am going to start back with 5km runs around my hilly neighbourhood. It's been a while since i have run more than a couple kms at a time so i'm guessing my time will probably be around the 27-28min mark (there are some fucking huge hills in Rochedale lol). My first big goal for the 5km loop will be to run sub 25mins. I'm not sure yet if i will be increasing my distance, i'll let my fitness levels guide me.

I'm looking forward to getting a dose of 'runners high'. It's been waaaay too long. I also know that with my runners high comes a shift in mindset. I shift into warrior mode. In warrior mode i am strong, i am a fighter and temptations become minimal. Why? Because i have purpose. And with that new-found focus will draw me closer to my physique goal. The last 3kgs is all about the mind now. I am at the stage where I can happily strutt around in nearly any clothes i desire because i am pretty lean BUT what i really want to be able to do is train in that damn gym showing off a sexy-six pack!!

3kg is the home stretch. I believe i can do it now. I'm pumped and i'm focused.