Thursday, April 28, 2011

Running to Freedom

The rush of endorphins is what sparked my love for running. The clarity of mind that comes about whilst you pound the pavement is what i call freedom - nothing else in the world matters during those moments in time.

It's been quite a while since i have experienced endorphins during my training. This occured to me last night during my boxing sesh. Every drill hurt. I felt like i had the aerobic fitness of a 3-pack a day smoker. I had Ms Negative Fairy sitting on my shoulder that whole hour whispering in my ear that it was all too hard. I was struggling to snap out of my negative mindset and just LET GO..... and beat up John, my boxing bitch partner. You don't realise just how much mental energy you waste mentally whinging about the intensity of a training session. Seriously, it drains you!

So after a hot shower and some dinner it was time to chill out with 'The Fatties' (The Biggest Loser). Their quest for the day was the 'Reflection Walk'.  They had to walk miles and miles in the sand dunes with the amount of weight they had lossed to date in their backpacks (40-50kg). During the trek, they got a chance to reflect on their amazing journey so far and physically experience the 'weight' of their past. As you can imagine, it was a very emotional episode.

The show got me thinking. 'What exactly has been holding me back from reaching my goals?' It's like everytime i have made great progress, i retreat and take two leaps back. Even though i desperately want to cross that finish line, I seem to have been trapped in a bottomless pit of self-doubt.

So i made up my mind. The past is the past, you can't change it. Dwelling on the past will just eat you up inside. It was time to just LET GO.

And that is what i did.

Had it not been pouring outside this morning i would have hit the streets so instead i headed to the gym to go head to head with my mind and the treadmill. The goal was 10km. A distance i haven't run since december last year. I knew deep down that i was fit enough to run it. 10km is more so a test of the mind, anyone can do it. If the mind is strong enough it will carry your body through. Today i didn't care about times, i just needed to finish it and prove to myself that I CAN ACHIEVE ANYTHING I WANT TO.

Now i know i can. 54:35min. It felt amazing.

So with those endorphins still flowing through my veins, my self belief has been re-ignited. I am ready to WIN. WIN in every aspect of my life.


  1. Its funny how sometimes the only thing stopping us from achieving our goals is ..... us. And then one small win and voila our mindset is changed and we believe we can.

  2. love this post!!!!!!!
    running is my freedomas too!!
    great way to get in that 10k!

  3. Magda - i know! I'm learning about cognitive-behaviour therapy in my pscyhe degree atm, now to put it to practice!!

    Thanks Melissa!! Hope that IT band heals soon :)

  4. Girl-- this is a lot of what I figured out about myself, and my lovely therapist is helping me as well. You should read the book Amy suggested to me: What Color Is Your Personality by Carol Ritberger. Amazing- helps me to see how some of my personality traits have worked against me in my personal, work relationships and in my personal life. For me, I think it was deep down- FEAR, fear that I'd never achieve success. DOUBT and so I kept self-sabotoging and I'm putting brackets around 2009-2010. That was the past. My mindset and my attitude and my approach- is TOTALLY DIFFERENT. EVERYTHING is different and all these new approaches are changing me, and thus, finally changing my body. Amen. Keep it up girl.

  5. Kellygirl - Thanks for reminding me about that book, i will go suss out later today (after i stop procrastinating and finish this damn assignment!). Geez fear and doubt are written all over me too which is sooooooo silly because i should just trust in my abilities to succeed... Here's to a kick-arse rest of 2011, you and me are going to OWN IT GIRL!! xo