Tuesday, July 6, 2010

OSB #2: Week 12 Self Sabotage, is this common?

Well i'm starting to get used to this dumb arse pattern of 'weight' loss....(Big) drop - small gain - plateau, (big) drop - small gain - plateau... Repeat. And that's why 'scale' weight is not the be all end all...and so i have to always tell and REMIND myself before i wanna cry... only joking... Girls, you know what i mean (fucking fluid =P )... Having said that, scales DO provide feedback and as long as the numbers are on a downward trend (overall) you are on the right track!

So as of yesterday, this was the number crunching much to my DELIGHT... not =)

28/06/2010  Week 11
Weight:  62.9kg

5/07/2010   Week 12
Weight: 63.4kg

Difference: 500g GAIN
Difference to Date: 3.8kg LOSS

So why the gain? Well i'm guessing it possibly a mixture of fluid, no weight training (2 weeks!), more 'treat' meals than usual ( well i was on holidays), being sedentary (sick and on holidays) LOL... I could go on and go but heres to wishing away the Fat-loss Fairy Bitch next week! Oh yeah and i promise i will get my skins done cos it will be end of OSB #2 and i'll need to put up some progress pics too!

But one thing i do notice and maybe you go through this too? When i do get good (scale) results, immediately i get excited...No shit haha. But then, i either get complacent or some how seem to sabotage myself with food for the rest of that week. Maybe thats the reason for the 'gain' and then the 'plateau'?  Its like part of me fears success in some way and i seem to take one step forward and two steps back. Then i seem to snap out of this depressive mindset, pull myself together, have another kick-arse week and then the cycle repeats itself. Does that make sense? Bingeaholic syndrome (i'm sure it is one) seems to be more complex than i imagined. I honestly thought i'd have kicked it earlier now that i'm away from the the Hemorrhoid in my life who's not a Hemorrhoid anymore. But there seems to be other triggers that just sets me off and breaking them all is fuckin difficult, not to mention STRESSFUL too!

I just don't get it, i've got amazing friends, good job, my own pad, extremely healthy, pretty smokin body and a hot set of girls (if i say so myself lol!)... so whats preventing me from being happy?

HELP! What to do?!


  1. First and foremost "scales are for fish!" Throw the fuckers in the bin or better still get a hammer and smash fuck out of them!

    Secondly, start loving yourself right now, no matter what shape or size or number your body is. You are far more than this!

    Thirdly, imagine you're life is everything you ever wanted right NOW and live the life you've always imagined right NOW. Not tomorrow, not the next day, or next month when you have the body you're working hard for but right friggen' NOW! TODAY!

  2. Hi Chelle, I do a similar thing but over a longer period of time (yearly cycles rather than weekly). For me I find April/May the worst. The weather gets colder, I do less exercise and eat a LOT more, and have a "don't care" attitude. I seem to snap out of it around June and try and reverse the damage done. It happened again this year but I think that being aware that this is my regular pattern has helped a bit. And I find how I'm eating at the moment means that overeating in the evening really isn't a problem.

    Hope you find out what works for you and makes you happy.

  3. HI Shelly, thanks for visiting my blog! You are perfectly right.... its all about love and deep down i know that - its the missing piece. I'm pretty aware that any 'destructive' behaviour is partly caused by lack of love and respect for ones self. So that is something i will be working on(daily)as of TODAY. Everyday WILL be my DREAM life. Thank you.

    Thanks for your feedback Char. I know i don't overeat because i'm hungry - with ESE, i'm defintely aware of my hunger and i do structure my meals pretty well. SO i think it all comes back down to 'emotional' cravings which i'm still dealing with food.... Gotta get back into the habit of daily positive affirmations.