For the first time in my life i have broken my silence...to Hemorrhoid.
Until now, she has never known the real reason why my weight has yo-yo'd up and down for the past 10 years. Her belief is that i just love eating too much sweet food and i don't run enough. Remember, she told me yesterday that "Diet has nothing to do weight-loss".
It all came about this morning whilst i having breakfast. She made a comment about my sis not losing weight fast enough and wasting away her gym membership. And of course i put in my 2 cents worth of info and told her again, its about the food choices and not the exercises. She had to shut me down in 5 seconds flat and tell me i was lying.
So i thought i'd be smarter this time and talk to her from a different angle. I told her her that people who binge eat are using food as an outlet to numb the pain of emotional issues that they are not dealing with well.eg. Stress, abuse (verbal!), depression etc. People whom are overweight/obese don't get that way cos they LOVE food so much, but because for that moment they are eating it- they get the serotonin release, the feel good factor, and in that moment all their worries ceases. So when they feel like their world is going to end, they turn to food, their safety net.
And you know what i got told. "Don't talk crap to me. Fat people are just lazy."
I said, "You have no idea what they are going through."
She said, "What would you know, you are 'just a rep'?" (she doesn't consider my profession a 'real job' as i'm not a physio/doctor or pharmacist)
Me, "When you harrass us about our weight, calling us fat and worthless, how do you think that makes us feel?"
She said, "Well someones got to tell you before you waste your life away."
Me, "You just don't get it. Don't you know how nasty that is?"
Her, "Well its the truth, you spend too much time at that gym. Grow up and get on with your life".
That was it, she crossed the line.
By now i was filled with rage and the tears were welling up.
All i said was, "When you started telling me i was fat in grade 10 (i was far from that, i was 5f 6 and 52kg jammed packed full of muscles), you ruined my fuckin life. I've been dealing with depression for 9 years so don't you tell me that weight issues are not emotional problems and have nothing to do with food!"
I didn't wait for an answer. I stormed out of the kitchen and went to my room and started typing this. I'm still a mess and in tears.What a cold hearted bitch, i dont' understand why she can be so fuckin horrible.
She might be my blood but she will NEVER be my family.
Sunday, February 28, 2010
Saturday, February 27, 2010
Villas and just plain DUMB!
Omg so i got told the dumbest thing EVER today in the history of the whole entire world....by none other than my friend....HEMORRHOID! She told me:
"Diet has nothing to do with weight-loss!"
I was so dumbfounded that it took me like an hour before i could pick my jaw off the floor lol. Seriously, she was on this tangent about how overweight people don't exercise enough (which is partially true). But then I made the mistake of mentioning that you do need to change your diet to lose weight.
She said, "No you don't!"
I said (with no attitude at all), "Well yes you do, you can't out-train a bad diet."
She said, "Everyone knows that all you need to do is RUN MORE!"
I said, "Mum, i've been involved in the nutrition industry for 7 years now, so trust me, a good diet is the most important factor in controlling weight."
AND then she said (drum roll), " Well on A Current Affair the other day, this lady lost over 70kg and all she did was join a gym. She didnt have to change what she ate!"
By this point i realised i was talking to abrick wall steel wall (brick ain't thick enough haha), so i just bit my tongue and left the room. (Seriously, tv shows like the above are the reason why any new weightloss products/gimicks/machines/treatments can sell out in 24 hours. Trust me, i work in the supplement industry!) Boy was my brain boiling and if i remember correctly, i hit my maximum heart rate too lol. Deep breaths i told myself. So i texted a friend to vent my rage. She suggested that i should just take control of the conversation and change the subject.... I decided that absolute silence would be the better option lol.
That brings me to Villas.
Now as per the conversation above, i was seriously ready to knock her out cold.
2 things prevented that:
1. I'm not a violent person. ( Apart from boxing class, i have never thrown a punch in my life)
2. Hemorrhoid and dad are giving me a very nice deposit for a house....So I am forced to behave....and being the delightful soul that i am, i refuse to yell/argue back these days.
And because of this deposit, i had to drag Hemorrhoid along to all the open houses as she will have the final word, sigh. I thought i had kicked my anxiety the other day.... It came back the minute she sat in my car.....Deep Breaths.
So we saw 4 villas. 2 were shithouse and the other 2 were really nice and all in my price range! Hemorrhoid actually told one of the agents in the shithouse villa that it was in horrible condition. They were here exact words, go figure. The nice ones were very contemporary with renovated kitchens, bathrooms, feature walls and new floors. The one i liked the most also had a lovely courtyard out the back that catches a nice breeze too....Hemorrhoid actually liked it too but was not impressed by the dust in the pantry..... I didn't realise that she had brought a microscope with her.
I have one more villa to see on tuesday, however from the photos it hasnt been renovated so i'm not sure what type of condition it'll be in. Its 20 grand less than the others so i guess i'll have to wait and see. I'd really like to make an offer on the one with the courtyard so off i am to make a one way conversation with Hemorrhoid. Sigh.
BUT I AM SOOOOOOOOOOOO EXCITED!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
"Diet has nothing to do with weight-loss!"
I was so dumbfounded that it took me like an hour before i could pick my jaw off the floor lol. Seriously, she was on this tangent about how overweight people don't exercise enough (which is partially true). But then I made the mistake of mentioning that you do need to change your diet to lose weight.
She said, "No you don't!"
I said (with no attitude at all), "Well yes you do, you can't out-train a bad diet."
She said, "Everyone knows that all you need to do is RUN MORE!"
I said, "Mum, i've been involved in the nutrition industry for 7 years now, so trust me, a good diet is the most important factor in controlling weight."
AND then she said (drum roll), " Well on A Current Affair the other day, this lady lost over 70kg and all she did was join a gym. She didnt have to change what she ate!"
By this point i realised i was talking to a
That brings me to Villas.
Now as per the conversation above, i was seriously ready to knock her out cold.
2 things prevented that:
1. I'm not a violent person. ( Apart from boxing class, i have never thrown a punch in my life)
2. Hemorrhoid and dad are giving me a very nice deposit for a house....So I am forced to behave....and being the delightful soul that i am, i refuse to yell/argue back these days.
And because of this deposit, i had to drag Hemorrhoid along to all the open houses as she will have the final word, sigh. I thought i had kicked my anxiety the other day.... It came back the minute she sat in my car.....Deep Breaths.
So we saw 4 villas. 2 were shithouse and the other 2 were really nice and all in my price range! Hemorrhoid actually told one of the agents in the shithouse villa that it was in horrible condition. They were here exact words, go figure. The nice ones were very contemporary with renovated kitchens, bathrooms, feature walls and new floors. The one i liked the most also had a lovely courtyard out the back that catches a nice breeze too....Hemorrhoid actually liked it too but was not impressed by the dust in the pantry..... I didn't realise that she had brought a microscope with her.
I have one more villa to see on tuesday, however from the photos it hasnt been renovated so i'm not sure what type of condition it'll be in. Its 20 grand less than the others so i guess i'll have to wait and see. I'd really like to make an offer on the one with the courtyard so off i am to make a one way conversation with Hemorrhoid. Sigh.
BUT I AM SOOOOOOOOOOOO EXCITED!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Thursday, February 25, 2010
Anxiety...I think i've kicked it!
So as you know i've been struggling with a quite a bit of anxiety over the past few weeks. Its either been non-existant or ultra bad, not in between. Yesterday was an ultra bad day and had nothing to do with Hemorrhoid either. I was stressed from the get go and my poor little head turned into a hurricane of thoughts. It was that bad that i could literally feel the Cortisol being pumped outta my brain! But by day end i finally figured out the cause of my anxiety issue.
There were 3 biggies:
1. Work - My new client list includes 24 Pracitioners (Naturopaths/Herbalists in a clinic) that i HAVE to see. The rest of my clients are in a retail environment- health food shop and pharmacy. (still Naturopaths/herbalists, nutrition consultants, but not in a sterile atmopshere lol) As i am not a naturopath the thought of chatting with a pracky in a clinic situation and then have them drill me with techinical questions about weird-arsed herbs has seriously petrified me. (I guess everyone has their own insecurities hey.) I physically have not been able to pick up the phone and make an appointment without feeling like i want to vomit.
2. Strength and Conditioning Module - As you know, i graduated as a PT back in September last year. What i didn't mention was that i still have one module (the above) to complete! As the graduation was the week after comp, they gave me an extension on that module cos i didnt have time to complete it (due to completeexhuastion, carb deprived then sugar overloaded brain lol). So ummmm......5 months is a little overdue lol. So now i really gotta get it done. But i just havent been able to start it.
3. House Hunting - So last week i got as far as checking out realestate.com. But again something was preventing me from actually phoning the agent.
So with all three components lurking around my head for weeks, i have been in serious panic mode. Some days i can completely compartmentalise my mind and block it out, but then the next day my brain just wants to explode.
I'm not sure why i've had such a mental block about getting the above done but i presuming its got something to do with fear? So the epiphany last night was that until i JUST DO IT, the anxiety ain't gonna disappear. Pretty straight forward hey?
So this morning i woke up relaxed and MOTIVATED! Yep, i took the first step and wrote a long to-do list. Then i just went nuts. I called all my practitioners one by one and just booked appointment after appointment. How hard was that!? My diary is now choccas for the next couple months.
Stress 1 over and out!
Then later this arvo, i called 4 agents and now have 4 open units lined up for the weekend. And they are noice too!
Stress 2 over and out!
And then i took my Strength and Conditiong Module out of my wardrobe and placed it on my desk lol.
Stress 3...ummmm.....it will be over soon!
I was able to cross out 6/9 points off my to-do list and you know what? I feel bloody awesome, i accomplished a lot today and the anxiety has disappeared. And all i had to do was phone people! In my job i talk like all day long so i don't know why i had this mental block that this would be so hard! So in future, when i begin to feel overwhelmed, all i need to do is write a LIST. I'm definitely one of those visual people, so i like to see results on paper.
......................
And on a really happy note, 3 people at gym randomly complimented me on my physique this morning! So i'm feeling a little special now =)
Ah bed time, over and out!
There were 3 biggies:
1. Work - My new client list includes 24 Pracitioners (Naturopaths/Herbalists in a clinic) that i HAVE to see. The rest of my clients are in a retail environment- health food shop and pharmacy. (still Naturopaths/herbalists, nutrition consultants, but not in a sterile atmopshere lol) As i am not a naturopath the thought of chatting with a pracky in a clinic situation and then have them drill me with techinical questions about weird-arsed herbs has seriously petrified me. (I guess everyone has their own insecurities hey.) I physically have not been able to pick up the phone and make an appointment without feeling like i want to vomit.
2. Strength and Conditioning Module - As you know, i graduated as a PT back in September last year. What i didn't mention was that i still have one module (the above) to complete! As the graduation was the week after comp, they gave me an extension on that module cos i didnt have time to complete it (due to complete
3. House Hunting - So last week i got as far as checking out realestate.com. But again something was preventing me from actually phoning the agent.
So with all three components lurking around my head for weeks, i have been in serious panic mode. Some days i can completely compartmentalise my mind and block it out, but then the next day my brain just wants to explode.
I'm not sure why i've had such a mental block about getting the above done but i presuming its got something to do with fear? So the epiphany last night was that until i JUST DO IT, the anxiety ain't gonna disappear. Pretty straight forward hey?
So this morning i woke up relaxed and MOTIVATED! Yep, i took the first step and wrote a long to-do list. Then i just went nuts. I called all my practitioners one by one and just booked appointment after appointment. How hard was that!? My diary is now choccas for the next couple months.
Stress 1 over and out!
Then later this arvo, i called 4 agents and now have 4 open units lined up for the weekend. And they are noice too!
Stress 2 over and out!
And then i took my Strength and Conditiong Module out of my wardrobe and placed it on my desk lol.
Stress 3...ummmm.....it will be over soon!
I was able to cross out 6/9 points off my to-do list and you know what? I feel bloody awesome, i accomplished a lot today and the anxiety has disappeared. And all i had to do was phone people! In my job i talk like all day long so i don't know why i had this mental block that this would be so hard! So in future, when i begin to feel overwhelmed, all i need to do is write a LIST. I'm definitely one of those visual people, so i like to see results on paper.
......................
And on a really happy note, 3 people at gym randomly complimented me on my physique this morning! So i'm feeling a little special now =)
Ah bed time, over and out!
Monday, February 22, 2010
Week 8 OSB...Please explain!
So if you had asked me 6 months no actually 8 weeks ago if you could build muscle and burn fat AT THE SAME RATE WHILST IN A CALORIE DEFICIT i would have laughed in your face...seriously! According to the so called laws of energetics, to lose weight you need a calorie deficit and to gain weight you need a calorie excess. Right?...WRONG! Yes i knew it was possible to have small gains in muscle mass whilst losing fat or have small losses in body fat whilst building muscle, but doing both at the same rate goes against what the science says!
So i have come to the conclusion that my body is a little weird lol. Since the start of OSB, i wrote up my own nutrition plan to accomodate for a calorie deficit - roughly 1800 cal/day, + or - 150 cal depending on the protein source i use and if i sneak in some yummy PB hee hee. I am not carb cycling, nor am i using creatine or any other performance enhancing supplements. So perhaps this is due to the fact that my muscle memory is in overdrive??? Check out the following results:
Starting stats: 4/1/10
Weight: 66.9kg
Body Fat: 24.5%
Fat Weight: 16.4kg..
LBM: 50.5kg
So guess what the scales told me today? 66kg?....Nope....68kg?.....Thank god NOPE!....65kg!?..... I WISH lol....Try 66.8kg! OMG, up again! ( It was 66.1kg last week) I seriously can't crack into this 65kg barrier....I hate the scales!....BUT.... Then i remembered that Tara once told me the scales are a great tool PROVIDING you team them up with the BF %. This is why:
Week 8 stats 22/2/10
Weight: 66.8kg
Body Fat: 18.1%
Fat Weight: 12.1kg
LBM: 54.7kg
As you can see, although my weight has dropped a measly 100g in the past 8 weeks ( mind you, it has fluctuated within the 1kg range), I have actually dropped 4.3kg of Body Fat whilst re-building 4.2kg of LBM!
So in the voice of a well know public figure with red hair....PLEASE EXPLAIN! lol. The science nerd in me needs to understand HOW this is possible?????
The cool news is that because muscle weighs twice that of fat and takes up half the space, my clothes are falling of me, i look and feel completely different, i have some lovely definintion coming through AND the veins have started to appear on the under side of my arms, WOOT!
Rockwear also came to my gym on saturday (perfect timing) so i stocked up on some ultra hot size 8 gym wear.... A reward for my awesome results from friday's W&M. Any excuse for more clothes lol
I also just wanna say that i recall posting back in nov/dec that i was quite happy that i had lossed some muscle mass during my recovery. I was at a point where i felt that i was getting thick through my back/traps/shoulders, so when i stopped training and my muscles had shrunk, i began to like the smaller look.... Well i have no idea what planet i was on that week! I was possibly lost somewhere in the land of skinny-fat people lol.... It just came to me this morning that the reason i was feeling thick/bulky etc was cos i was carrying quite a bit of padding on top of those muscles! DUH!...
I am now loving my new re-born muscles and no i am NOT feeling 'bulky' by any means. I am getting leaner by the week and beginning to look and feel like a sexy bitch!
So i have come to the conclusion that my body is a little weird lol. Since the start of OSB, i wrote up my own nutrition plan to accomodate for a calorie deficit - roughly 1800 cal/day, + or - 150 cal depending on the protein source i use and if i sneak in some yummy PB hee hee. I am not carb cycling, nor am i using creatine or any other performance enhancing supplements. So perhaps this is due to the fact that my muscle memory is in overdrive??? Check out the following results:
Starting stats: 4/1/10
Weight: 66.9kg
Body Fat: 24.5%
Fat Weight: 16.4kg..
LBM: 50.5kg
So guess what the scales told me today? 66kg?....Nope....68kg?.....Thank god NOPE!....65kg!?..... I WISH lol....Try 66.8kg! OMG, up again! ( It was 66.1kg last week) I seriously can't crack into this 65kg barrier....I hate the scales!....BUT.... Then i remembered that Tara once told me the scales are a great tool PROVIDING you team them up with the BF %. This is why:
Week 8 stats 22/2/10
Weight: 66.8kg
Body Fat: 18.1%
Fat Weight: 12.1kg
LBM: 54.7kg
As you can see, although my weight has dropped a measly 100g in the past 8 weeks ( mind you, it has fluctuated within the 1kg range), I have actually dropped 4.3kg of Body Fat whilst re-building 4.2kg of LBM!
So in the voice of a well know public figure with red hair....PLEASE EXPLAIN! lol. The science nerd in me needs to understand HOW this is possible?????
The cool news is that because muscle weighs twice that of fat and takes up half the space, my clothes are falling of me, i look and feel completely different, i have some lovely definintion coming through AND the veins have started to appear on the under side of my arms, WOOT!
Rockwear also came to my gym on saturday (perfect timing) so i stocked up on some ultra hot size 8 gym wear.... A reward for my awesome results from friday's W&M. Any excuse for more clothes lol
I also just wanna say that i recall posting back in nov/dec that i was quite happy that i had lossed some muscle mass during my recovery. I was at a point where i felt that i was getting thick through my back/traps/shoulders, so when i stopped training and my muscles had shrunk, i began to like the smaller look.... Well i have no idea what planet i was on that week! I was possibly lost somewhere in the land of skinny-fat people lol.... It just came to me this morning that the reason i was feeling thick/bulky etc was cos i was carrying quite a bit of padding on top of those muscles! DUH!...
I am now loving my new re-born muscles and no i am NOT feeling 'bulky' by any means. I am getting leaner by the week and beginning to look and feel like a sexy bitch!
Friday, February 19, 2010
Week 7 OSB...Results are in!
I am pumped, i am excited and i have been on a fuckin HIGH all day long! WOOOOOOOT!
After a week of ups and downs, laughs and tears, and hazardous FLUID RETENTION ( i swear i could have filled a bath tub with my excess fluid lol) i absolutely LOVED the numbers so much this morning that i think i deafend James with my screaming LOL.
And this is why:
5/2/10 (2 weeks ago)
Body Fat: 20.2%
Skinfolds: 107.8ml
19/2/10
Body Fat: 18.1%
Skinfolds: 97.2ml
Difference: 2.1%, 10.6ml
Difference to date (7 weeks): 6.4%, 38.7ml
Which means i have achieved both my goals that i set myself for this W&M! I'm now under 100ml over 7 sites (we do the measurements twice and take the average) and i've completely skipped the 19s for BF%. Yeah baby!
So my goal for my next W&M in 2 weeks time is to be in the 17s for BF% and in the 80s for skinfolds. Can i achieve it??..... You bet ya, this Sexy Bitch is back aboard the train!
Oh and guess what????..... I bit the bullet and checked out realestate.com yesterday! It was really exciting, and i have noted a few nice units in my price range, so will call the agents next week.
And last of all i just wanna say a big thanks to Steph for being my moral support through OSB. She has been there for me every step of the way. We train at the same gym but at totally different times, so we rarely get to see each other. For this reason our mobiles have been a godsend, congratulating each other with the highs, and picking each other up when we are low. You rock girl =)
Have a wicked weekend ya'll!
After a week of ups and downs, laughs and tears, and hazardous FLUID RETENTION ( i swear i could have filled a bath tub with my excess fluid lol) i absolutely LOVED the numbers so much this morning that i think i deafend James with my screaming LOL.
And this is why:
5/2/10 (2 weeks ago)
Body Fat: 20.2%
Skinfolds: 107.8ml
19/2/10
Body Fat: 18.1%
Skinfolds: 97.2ml
Difference: 2.1%, 10.6ml
Difference to date (7 weeks): 6.4%, 38.7ml
Which means i have achieved both my goals that i set myself for this W&M! I'm now under 100ml over 7 sites (we do the measurements twice and take the average) and i've completely skipped the 19s for BF%. Yeah baby!
So my goal for my next W&M in 2 weeks time is to be in the 17s for BF% and in the 80s for skinfolds. Can i achieve it??..... You bet ya, this Sexy Bitch is back aboard the train!
Oh and guess what????..... I bit the bullet and checked out realestate.com yesterday! It was really exciting, and i have noted a few nice units in my price range, so will call the agents next week.
And last of all i just wanna say a big thanks to Steph for being my moral support through OSB. She has been there for me every step of the way. We train at the same gym but at totally different times, so we rarely get to see each other. For this reason our mobiles have been a godsend, congratulating each other with the highs, and picking each other up when we are low. You rock girl =)
Have a wicked weekend ya'll!
Wednesday, February 17, 2010
Tight =) with Anxiety =(
It's only taken 4 days but i am finally feeling TIGHT! WOOT! I've got my body figured out and that's exactly how long it always takes for any fluid retention to go after a night of processed naughties. Should be enough to scare me off a binging bender again hey!? My shorty gym shorts now fit. I have like 3 sizes of gym shorts as i'm sure many of you may do too. (I live in gym shorts- not a fan of 3/4 tights unless its snowing ...highly unlikely in brisvegas LOL, or unless i'm doing a spin class)
Fat shorts - they are dark colours (navy blues, blacks and browns). Still relatively short to what the 'normal' person would wear, but will appear on my body when i'm 20.2% BF or higher....By the end of OSB i want to be confident knowing that these shorts can be thrown in the garbage bin!
Shorty shorts - getting brighter - reds and blues. These are an inch shorter than my Fat Shorts, so i now have a terrible tan line LOL.
Horn shorts - white - oh yeah, this is when I know my bootay is smoking hot! Also includes shorty bike pants. Both these will be worn towards the end of OSB!
SO that is the good news...
Now the bad news...
I want to acknowledge that i'm dealing with a bit of anxiety. Its really just come on in the past week or two, since this comment. As i mentioned a few posts ago, i am the happiest i have ever been in my adult life (when i am outside of the house) but this anxiety thing is becoming a bit of an issue. I am NOT depressed ( been there) or sad, this feels different. I seem to be highly stressed out and on edge all the time. I find it difficult to wind down, chill out and relax, and can get quite snappy/angry at times (just with family members). The one good thing is that I'm sleeping really well, about 7 hours a night, but i do have crazy dreams. (i think that has to do with Rescue Sleep).
After having relatives stay over last week (whom confirmed Hemorrhoid is completely Nuts), it really dawned on me what a toxic environment i am living in. The energy in my house is very negative, my parents fight all day, Hemorrhoid is just being a hemorrhoid and no one treats me with any respect. I get asked all the time for an opinion (usually on nutrition related stuff) but once i open my mouth i immediately get shut down. That really ticks me off. I have a fuckin degree in the above and they still talk to me like i'm a nobody.
I've even been stressing out big time over my dad's diet. (He's only a few kgs, maybe 5-6kg overweight, but he is 68yrs and an 'emotional eater'.) I refuse to give him advice unless he asks for it, but the amount of butter, cheese, bread and chocolate he consumes reallydisgusts worries me cos i'm scared he will have a heart attack on me. But i dont wanna say anything cos i know just how much he hates Hemorrhoid nagging at him, which is the reason they fight all day long.
I'm completely in happy mode once i'm out of the house and at the gym. I'm usually fine at work, though today i was in the car heaps and really shouldnt have listened to any trance. It made me over-think too much. I'm able to clear my head during my arvo walk or when i am blogging, but the minute i try to relax in this house i feel my heart starts to race, my mind is a whirlwind of thoughts and I feel really claustrophobic.
I even had to resort to taking some kava today. I had some sample stock from work and thought i'd give it a try. (its been product of the season for a little while now and i've heard good feedback from my clients). OMG so not a good idea. Kava is a herb that is effective in alleviating anxiety by promoting mental relaxation and calmness. It didn't agree with me (it may work wonders for you though) and totally made me feel like a space cadet lol! I didn't make me relax, dopey or calm, just weird in the head, hard to explain. 3 hours later and i was still highly strung out. It wasnt until i got into fits of laughter at an afternoon appointment that i went back to happy chelle.
AAAAARRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!
What to do?.... I know what i have to do....... Buy a unit......Simple......Just gotta get my arse into gear and bite the bullet..........But i'm a little scared of having a mortgage too....
I know i also need to completely LET GO of any emotional thoughts related to family, but sometimes that is just fuckin hard.
Fat shorts - they are dark colours (navy blues, blacks and browns). Still relatively short to what the 'normal' person would wear, but will appear on my body when i'm 20.2% BF or higher....By the end of OSB i want to be confident knowing that these shorts can be thrown in the garbage bin!
Shorty shorts - getting brighter - reds and blues. These are an inch shorter than my Fat Shorts, so i now have a terrible tan line LOL.
Horn shorts - white - oh yeah, this is when I know my bootay is smoking hot! Also includes shorty bike pants. Both these will be worn towards the end of OSB!
SO that is the good news...
Now the bad news...
I want to acknowledge that i'm dealing with a bit of anxiety. Its really just come on in the past week or two, since this comment. As i mentioned a few posts ago, i am the happiest i have ever been in my adult life (when i am outside of the house) but this anxiety thing is becoming a bit of an issue. I am NOT depressed ( been there) or sad, this feels different. I seem to be highly stressed out and on edge all the time. I find it difficult to wind down, chill out and relax, and can get quite snappy/angry at times (just with family members). The one good thing is that I'm sleeping really well, about 7 hours a night, but i do have crazy dreams. (i think that has to do with Rescue Sleep).
After having relatives stay over last week (whom confirmed Hemorrhoid is completely Nuts), it really dawned on me what a toxic environment i am living in. The energy in my house is very negative, my parents fight all day, Hemorrhoid is just being a hemorrhoid and no one treats me with any respect. I get asked all the time for an opinion (usually on nutrition related stuff) but once i open my mouth i immediately get shut down. That really ticks me off. I have a fuckin degree in the above and they still talk to me like i'm a nobody.
I've even been stressing out big time over my dad's diet. (He's only a few kgs, maybe 5-6kg overweight, but he is 68yrs and an 'emotional eater'.) I refuse to give him advice unless he asks for it, but the amount of butter, cheese, bread and chocolate he consumes really
I'm completely in happy mode once i'm out of the house and at the gym. I'm usually fine at work, though today i was in the car heaps and really shouldnt have listened to any trance. It made me over-think too much. I'm able to clear my head during my arvo walk or when i am blogging, but the minute i try to relax in this house i feel my heart starts to race, my mind is a whirlwind of thoughts and I feel really claustrophobic.
I even had to resort to taking some kava today. I had some sample stock from work and thought i'd give it a try. (its been product of the season for a little while now and i've heard good feedback from my clients). OMG so not a good idea. Kava is a herb that is effective in alleviating anxiety by promoting mental relaxation and calmness. It didn't agree with me (it may work wonders for you though) and totally made me feel like a space cadet lol! I didn't make me relax, dopey or calm, just weird in the head, hard to explain. 3 hours later and i was still highly strung out. It wasnt until i got into fits of laughter at an afternoon appointment that i went back to happy chelle.
AAAAARRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!
What to do?.... I know what i have to do....... Buy a unit......Simple......Just gotta get my arse into gear and bite the bullet..........But i'm a little scared of having a mortgage too....
I know i also need to completely LET GO of any emotional thoughts related to family, but sometimes that is just fuckin hard.
Monday, February 15, 2010
Week 7 OSB...Halfway already!
Well I was petrified about hopping on the scales this morning after the post-wedding blowout on saturday. The amount of fluid i seem to be holding is ridiculous, its amazes me how much water sugar (and salt) will attract to your body. Quite gross to be honest LOL. The thought of junk food grosses me out again, which is a good sign =)
The good news is that i am 66.1kg. I had to jump on the scales 3 times just to be sure. I had in my mind that i would have been at least 70kg lol, but it wasn't to be, yay. So my weight has only increased 100g, but i believe that is mainly due to thisfuckin lovely fluid retention. I trained bloody hard this morning and am about to go for an afternoon stroll so its finally starting to go. I reckon that once my body normalises in a day or two i may actually be in the 65s!
I guess it has been my turn to go 'through the motions', and i thank you girls for your supportive comments. You are all awesome! Lauren- its my mission to find a fairy sized "TNT bomb" this week LOL
Well time to re-focus again.
Food = clean
Training = hardcore
Feeling 100%
Thoughts = sexy and fierce!
6 weeks to go girls, Sexy Bitch here i come!
The good news is that i am 66.1kg. I had to jump on the scales 3 times just to be sure. I had in my mind that i would have been at least 70kg lol, but it wasn't to be, yay. So my weight has only increased 100g, but i believe that is mainly due to this
I guess it has been my turn to go 'through the motions', and i thank you girls for your supportive comments. You are all awesome! Lauren- its my mission to find a fairy sized "TNT bomb" this week LOL
Well time to re-focus again.
Food = clean
Training = hardcore
Feeling 100%
Thoughts = sexy and fierce!
6 weeks to go girls, Sexy Bitch here i come!
Sunday, February 14, 2010
Oh no, Food Dilemmas =(
Its amazing how missing one meal can throw your nutrition off plan. This happened to me yesterday arvo. As it was my uncles wedding, lunch was served at the reception. Now being a malaysian wedding, we had a 10 course banquet. Majority of the food was up there on the healthy scale except for a couple of the entrees-springroll, satay stick: yum cha size- tiny, and dessert. There were LOTS of vegies, whole steamed coral trout, sizzling beef, roast crispy skin chicken etc. I stayed away from the noodles and fried rice- those sorts of carbs do not interest me in the slightest anymore. I filled up on vegies and i really enjoyed the flavours of the main courses. We ate out of tiny bowls so my portion control was pretty good.
The dessert included this sweet red bean soup, a custard thing - mini sized and of course the Wedding Cup-cake. How cute is this?
OMG, for someone whom hasn't touched dessert in 40 days it was ultra sweet! I had already factored into my week that the wedding would be ok for a couple scheduled 'treat meals', so i made sure i enjoyed the food without feeling guilty.
Now my dilemma came when we got home, about 4pm. The banquet was spread out over 3 hours so i had been eating small portions of food all arvo. So i was kind of stressing, do i eat arvo tea or not? Everyone else was filled to the brim with food (all those starchy carbs suckers) so i was kind of embarassed to admit that i was kind of peckish...well it was arvo tea time! And being my family, there was no point explaining my dilemma and I also was not in the mood to be criticised by Hemorrhoid for eating again. (On that note, other family members confirmed to me that she is completely NUTS - pedantic, stresshead, OCD, stubborn, rude and CONTROLLING were just some adjectives that we agreed on. So its definitely not me imagining things!) So instead, i just snuck a carrot ( i can't believe i felt like i had to sneak a fuckin carrot!) and a couple cups of coffee to fill the void (no i didn't sneak the coffee LOL). BAD IDEA. The sugar from the desserts had already spiked my insulin big time giving me all sorts of naughty cravings and then put me in a sugar coma! I had forgotton what a NASTY BITCH sugar was! If only i had eaten a protein rich snack to balance out the blood sugar i would have been sweet. No pun intended lol. So lesson learnt there.
By the time dinner rolled around i was starving, go figure. Being chinese new year's eve we had roast duck, chicken curry and loads of greens. Portion control was ok but then came dessert...This is when i knew i should NOT have skipped a meal cos my body was now playing calorie catch up. Usually i would have been like whatever i'll pass. But no, the sweet-tooth fairy had sprinkled some fairy dust on me. So a fuckin huge serving of apple crumble with icecream, chocolate and some malaysian dessert entered my mouth! Whoopsies. The first few bites tasted great but by the end, it felt like the 'emotional eating' trigger had been switched on and i was in this bingeaholic mindset where my actions were fueled with guilt. I felt sick, bloated and quite disgusted at myself- gluten and dairy are NASTY! KellyO, keep up your GF plan girl cos my tummy feels like shit! =(
So what did i do?
Well I acknowledged and accepted that i had a hiccup, a big one. But i knew there was no point getting upset about it, so i just had to GET OVER IT! Which is what i did. Can't dwell in the past right? Today is a new day, and a big walk or two are on the agenda to get rid of the dreaded bloat and fluid that has so kindly appeared this morning. Clean and green it shall be as the second half of OSB begins tomorrow. Fingers crossed i haven't wrecked my skinfolds for this coming friday!
The dessert included this sweet red bean soup, a custard thing - mini sized and of course the Wedding Cup-cake. How cute is this?
OMG, for someone whom hasn't touched dessert in 40 days it was ultra sweet! I had already factored into my week that the wedding would be ok for a couple scheduled 'treat meals', so i made sure i enjoyed the food without feeling guilty.
Now my dilemma came when we got home, about 4pm. The banquet was spread out over 3 hours so i had been eating small portions of food all arvo. So i was kind of stressing, do i eat arvo tea or not? Everyone else was filled to the brim with food (all those starchy carbs suckers) so i was kind of embarassed to admit that i was kind of peckish...well it was arvo tea time! And being my family, there was no point explaining my dilemma and I also was not in the mood to be criticised by Hemorrhoid for eating again. (On that note, other family members confirmed to me that she is completely NUTS - pedantic, stresshead, OCD, stubborn, rude and CONTROLLING were just some adjectives that we agreed on. So its definitely not me imagining things!) So instead, i just snuck a carrot ( i can't believe i felt like i had to sneak a fuckin carrot!) and a couple cups of coffee to fill the void (no i didn't sneak the coffee LOL). BAD IDEA. The sugar from the desserts had already spiked my insulin big time giving me all sorts of naughty cravings and then put me in a sugar coma! I had forgotton what a NASTY BITCH sugar was! If only i had eaten a protein rich snack to balance out the blood sugar i would have been sweet. No pun intended lol. So lesson learnt there.
By the time dinner rolled around i was starving, go figure. Being chinese new year's eve we had roast duck, chicken curry and loads of greens. Portion control was ok but then came dessert...This is when i knew i should NOT have skipped a meal cos my body was now playing calorie catch up. Usually i would have been like whatever i'll pass. But no, the sweet-tooth fairy had sprinkled some fairy dust on me. So a fuckin huge serving of apple crumble with icecream, chocolate and some malaysian dessert entered my mouth! Whoopsies. The first few bites tasted great but by the end, it felt like the 'emotional eating' trigger had been switched on and i was in this bingeaholic mindset where my actions were fueled with guilt. I felt sick, bloated and quite disgusted at myself- gluten and dairy are NASTY! KellyO, keep up your GF plan girl cos my tummy feels like shit! =(
So what did i do?
Well I acknowledged and accepted that i had a hiccup, a big one. But i knew there was no point getting upset about it, so i just had to GET OVER IT! Which is what i did. Can't dwell in the past right? Today is a new day, and a big walk or two are on the agenda to get rid of the dreaded bloat and fluid that has so kindly appeared this morning. Clean and green it shall be as the second half of OSB begins tomorrow. Fingers crossed i haven't wrecked my skinfolds for this coming friday!
Saturday, February 13, 2010
Still got that glow!
Geez its been 5 days since i've posted and I'm starting to get withdrawals LOL. I've been feeling a little under the weather for most of this week with fluey like symptons, nothing serious, just run down grrrr (need to rest more, but where's the time!?).
I had a whinge at GA yesterday. I told her that i had kept my saliva to myself as she requested (LOL) and still got sick! WTF!? There was a simple answer to that one. 10+ hours of passive smoking (my whole crew bar me and another girl smoke- that's 10/12 people!) is enough to make you sick! SO i did the right thing and took 3 days off training and rested. In the past i would have tried to tough it out and soldier on, but not this time. See i am 'listening' to my body. But it worked a treat and i'm feeling about 90% now.
I had my 'sexy six-pack' sess with James yesterday and it was the best one yet. We focussed on obliques, nothing heavy though, cos i don't want to thicken my waist, i just want to tighten it and 'whittle my middle'. Feeling tight today =)
........
Oh and it's my uncle's wedding today. We've just had the church ceremony, and the reception isn't for another 90 mins so i've just sneaked home to give my 'withdrawals' a fix!
So on thursday we had 5 relatives arrive from Hemorrhoids' side of the family. Aunty, uncle and cousin from Malaysia and and an aunty and uncle from sydney. Which means 9 people in our house!!! My cuz Angela is ultra cool, and you wouldnt believe how similar we are. We clicked right away. So yesterday i took her out shopping and then to dinner at Cloudland. OMG, the food was absolutely amazing. Every bite was like an explosion of flavours in your mouth. For any of you into fine dining, you gotta check this place out. And what made it even better was the music. The dj and Bongo player were cranking out these wicked latino house tunes and you couldn't help but want to groove. So after dinner, we headed upstairs to the balcony where they were playing and carved up thedancefloor balcony! (they don't have a dancefloor, so i made one lol)
This was where the fun started. This group of people came up and joined in. One of the girls had a video camera and was filming us dancing. And then another girl in their group decided it would be funny if she went around to random people at the bar and lift their tops/skirts/dresses over their head!!!! Omg, so funny!... And so embarrassing too haha. Security soon caught on and escorted them out of the venue.
From there, we had a group of guys approach us ( 35+years, and the type you hope won't hang around for too long!), and they tried their hardest to chat us up. SO not interested! But we were polite and chatted. I got asked the typical, "What drugs are you on tonight? You haven't stopped dancing!". People don't understand that a 'natural high' is possible. We were good girls and only had lime and soda. After a while they were getting in our personal space and we had to tell them we weren't in the mood for talking and just wanted to dance. Not once but 3 times! We had had enough and were about to tell them to F$*% off, when these 2 cool chicks came to our rescue and sent them on their merry way. Thank god.
And to end the night, we even got a photo by the Cloudland photographer, so it should be up on their website's 'social snaps' link in the next day or so, woot! I always like to thank the dj (if he is awesome) for a great night and found out that he- Danny, and Pedro (bongo boy) are residence there every friday night so I am sure i shall be back soon. We had such a wicked night even though we were done by 10.30pm, night owls we are LOL. Angie had a blast and is in love with Brisvegas.
So here is a pic from our night out. And yes i've still got that glow!
I had a whinge at GA yesterday. I told her that i had kept my saliva to myself as she requested (LOL) and still got sick! WTF!? There was a simple answer to that one. 10+ hours of passive smoking (my whole crew bar me and another girl smoke- that's 10/12 people!) is enough to make you sick! SO i did the right thing and took 3 days off training and rested. In the past i would have tried to tough it out and soldier on, but not this time. See i am 'listening' to my body. But it worked a treat and i'm feeling about 90% now.
I had my 'sexy six-pack' sess with James yesterday and it was the best one yet. We focussed on obliques, nothing heavy though, cos i don't want to thicken my waist, i just want to tighten it and 'whittle my middle'. Feeling tight today =)
........
Oh and it's my uncle's wedding today. We've just had the church ceremony, and the reception isn't for another 90 mins so i've just sneaked home to give my 'withdrawals' a fix!
So on thursday we had 5 relatives arrive from Hemorrhoids' side of the family. Aunty, uncle and cousin from Malaysia and and an aunty and uncle from sydney. Which means 9 people in our house!!! My cuz Angela is ultra cool, and you wouldnt believe how similar we are. We clicked right away. So yesterday i took her out shopping and then to dinner at Cloudland. OMG, the food was absolutely amazing. Every bite was like an explosion of flavours in your mouth. For any of you into fine dining, you gotta check this place out. And what made it even better was the music. The dj and Bongo player were cranking out these wicked latino house tunes and you couldn't help but want to groove. So after dinner, we headed upstairs to the balcony where they were playing and carved up the
This was where the fun started. This group of people came up and joined in. One of the girls had a video camera and was filming us dancing. And then another girl in their group decided it would be funny if she went around to random people at the bar and lift their tops/skirts/dresses over their head!!!! Omg, so funny!... And so embarrassing too haha. Security soon caught on and escorted them out of the venue.
From there, we had a group of guys approach us ( 35+years, and the type you hope won't hang around for too long!), and they tried their hardest to chat us up. SO not interested! But we were polite and chatted. I got asked the typical, "What drugs are you on tonight? You haven't stopped dancing!". People don't understand that a 'natural high' is possible. We were good girls and only had lime and soda. After a while they were getting in our personal space and we had to tell them we weren't in the mood for talking and just wanted to dance. Not once but 3 times! We had had enough and were about to tell them to F$*% off, when these 2 cool chicks came to our rescue and sent them on their merry way. Thank god.
And to end the night, we even got a photo by the Cloudland photographer, so it should be up on their website's 'social snaps' link in the next day or so, woot! I always like to thank the dj (if he is awesome) for a great night and found out that he- Danny, and Pedro (bongo boy) are residence there every friday night so I am sure i shall be back soon. We had such a wicked night even though we were done by 10.30pm, night owls we are LOL. Angie had a blast and is in love with Brisvegas.
So here is a pic from our night out. And yes i've still got that glow!
Monday, February 8, 2010
With every HIGH, there is always a LOW.
So i've been toying with the idea of writing this post for the past 10 days, but up until half an hour ago it just seemed a little insignificant so i had let it go.
With every HIGH, there is always a LOW. Otherwise we would never truly feel the meaning of the word HIGH.
10 days ago (3 days after little sis joined the gym), Hemorrhoid decided to break her silence. I knew it was coming. It was a saturday afternoon and i was in the kitchen prepping food for the following week when Hemorrhoid storms in and says,
"So now its you fault i have two obsessed fitness freaks in this house!"
Me: "Excuse me?"
H: "You spend too much time in the kitchen and is wasting your life away at that gym. I don't want Bec to turn out like you!"
Me: "Do you have a problem with me being healthy?"
H: Silence. Walks away.
I thought i handled the situation pretty well. I controlled my anger, left the house, went for a drive, cranked the tunes and just LET IT GO.
All was good until tonight:
H: "So why hasn't Bec been to the gym today? What a waste of money!"
Me: "She's trained pretty hard this week, and needs a day or two to recover."
H: Well you shouldn't be pumping her up (what a stupid phrase to use) with those protein shakes. She's suppose to be losing weight, not blowing up like you!" (she gets one WPC protein shake a day made into a smoothie with a banana)
Me: "Protein won't make her blow up"
H: "Just take a look at yourself!"
Me: I kept my mouth shut and continued cooking my dinner.
I had 3 choices:
1. Yell back.
2. Binge.
3. Filter my anger into this BLOG!
So i have only chosen option 3.
Fuckin Bitch.....
With every HIGH, there is always a LOW. Otherwise we would never truly feel the meaning of the word HIGH.
10 days ago (3 days after little sis joined the gym), Hemorrhoid decided to break her silence. I knew it was coming. It was a saturday afternoon and i was in the kitchen prepping food for the following week when Hemorrhoid storms in and says,
"So now its you fault i have two obsessed fitness freaks in this house!"
Me: "Excuse me?"
H: "You spend too much time in the kitchen and is wasting your life away at that gym. I don't want Bec to turn out like you!"
Me: "Do you have a problem with me being healthy?"
H: Silence. Walks away.
I thought i handled the situation pretty well. I controlled my anger, left the house, went for a drive, cranked the tunes and just LET IT GO.
All was good until tonight:
H: "So why hasn't Bec been to the gym today? What a waste of money!"
Me: "She's trained pretty hard this week, and needs a day or two to recover."
H: Well you shouldn't be pumping her up (what a stupid phrase to use) with those protein shakes. She's suppose to be losing weight, not blowing up like you!" (she gets one WPC protein shake a day made into a smoothie with a banana)
Me: "Protein won't make her blow up"
H: "Just take a look at yourself!"
Me: I kept my mouth shut and continued cooking my dinner.
I had 3 choices:
1. Yell back.
2. Binge.
3. Filter my anger into this BLOG!
So i have only chosen option 3.
Fuckin Bitch.....
Week 6 OSB!
SO today is the first day of Week 6 OSB, and boy the weeks are flying by!
Weighed in this morning at 66.0kg. Which is a drop of 300g, yay. It's only taken 5 weeks of solid training and clean eating to drop 1kg (can you hear the sarcasm LOL), but hey a loss is a loss and my body has changed HEAPS ( - 4.3% BF and 28.1ml ) so its all good. Next week i WILL be in the 65s and the 19s, just watch this space...........
Remember too that i am following a 'lifestyle nutrition plan' and not a 'comp diet', so the results are going to be slower which is ok. I have NOT binged in 38 days which is of most importance to me and i rarely get cravings anymore. There has even been weeks when i haven't had a treat meal, just because i didn't feel like anything naughty. WOAH, now that's a first!
I am in control.
Weighed in this morning at 66.0kg. Which is a drop of 300g, yay. It's only taken 5 weeks of solid training and clean eating to drop 1kg (can you hear the sarcasm LOL), but hey a loss is a loss and my body has changed HEAPS ( - 4.3% BF and 28.1ml ) so its all good. Next week i WILL be in the 65s and the 19s, just watch this space...........
Remember too that i am following a 'lifestyle nutrition plan' and not a 'comp diet', so the results are going to be slower which is ok. I have NOT binged in 38 days which is of most importance to me and i rarely get cravings anymore. There has even been weeks when i haven't had a treat meal, just because i didn't feel like anything naughty. WOAH, now that's a first!
I am in control.
Sunday, February 7, 2010
and then there was VOMIT!
Just kidding haha.... ( If you read yesterday's post you will get the humour in the above title lol)
I was well behaved and stayed out of mischief at Bertie's 40th.
No alcohol - I had one lime and soda.
No crap food - We didnt end up dining out last night which meant i got to eat all my prepped food instead. And i think my egg white and vegie scramble tasted way better than everyone else's beer, bloody mary and cigarette breakfast!
No party pashes either.
But what a blast we had. We rented out this 3 level, 7 million dollar house (that's what its on the market for) just under the Lighthouse in Byron Bay, overlooking Watego Beach for the long weekend! We headed out to the Beach Hotel Pub last night, they had this awesome band playing (not really my type of music, but they were rocking) and we carved up the dance floor as per usual.
The band finished up about midnight, by then the rain was pouring down. What's with this weather? Seriously i'm so over this rain, and this time i had my heels on grrrr. So we headed down to another club, got drenched AND after all that one of the boys didnt have his ID so we couldn't get in!!!!!! So we decided to head back to the house and crank the music there.
And thats when the fun began.
Me being the designated driver (there were NO taxis at all, not one!), got to test my advanced driving skills through thetorrential rain "Significant Rain Event" LOL. It was a mission navigating my car through the ultra narrow winding roads around the cliffs of Cape Byron with no street lights. I couldnt even see 2 metres ahead of me. Oh but i love storms, they are so cool. We even saw an echidna crossing the road. The "Significant Rain Event" must have flooded the poor thing out of his burrow! I got to do this crazy drive not once, but 3 times, as i do not allow people to travel in my boot LOL. Once everyone was picked up ( There was 12 of us staying at the house), i just prayed that there wouldnt be a landslide overnight causing my car to end up floating somewhere in the Pacific.
After a few games of pool and a LOT of laughter i decided it was time for a shower and bed. My morning training sess had left me wrecked.
Ooooo and guess who has ultra saw abs again????? ...ME!... Yes those matrix sets are worth all the pain in the world.
And i just have to mention what Bertie told me last night.
She said, "Chelle, there's something different about you. It's got nothing to do with your new girls, or your confidence. There's a certain glow about you, but i just can't figure out what it is?"
And i said, "For the first time in my life, i am happy".
I was well behaved and stayed out of mischief at Bertie's 40th.
No alcohol - I had one lime and soda.
No crap food - We didnt end up dining out last night which meant i got to eat all my prepped food instead. And i think my egg white and vegie scramble tasted way better than everyone else's beer, bloody mary and cigarette breakfast!
No party pashes either.
But what a blast we had. We rented out this 3 level, 7 million dollar house (that's what its on the market for) just under the Lighthouse in Byron Bay, overlooking Watego Beach for the long weekend! We headed out to the Beach Hotel Pub last night, they had this awesome band playing (not really my type of music, but they were rocking) and we carved up the dance floor as per usual.
The band finished up about midnight, by then the rain was pouring down. What's with this weather? Seriously i'm so over this rain, and this time i had my heels on grrrr. So we headed down to another club, got drenched AND after all that one of the boys didnt have his ID so we couldn't get in!!!!!! So we decided to head back to the house and crank the music there.
And thats when the fun began.
Me being the designated driver (there were NO taxis at all, not one!), got to test my advanced driving skills through the
After a few games of pool and a LOT of laughter i decided it was time for a shower and bed. My morning training sess had left me wrecked.
Ooooo and guess who has ultra saw abs again????? ...ME!... Yes those matrix sets are worth all the pain in the world.
And i just have to mention what Bertie told me last night.
She said, "Chelle, there's something different about you. It's got nothing to do with your new girls, or your confidence. There's a certain glow about you, but i just can't figure out what it is?"
And i said, "For the first time in my life, i am happy".
Saturday, February 6, 2010
Adrenalin Saturday!
What a kick-arse day it has been so far!
So this morning i found out what 'matrix supersets' were...HELL.....But i have a love-hate relationship with hell so it was awesome. This is an example of what James put me through this morning:
Ab Crunch Hammer Chair: (Arms are above your head holding onto a handle)
The following is 1 set- no break
15 x full range crunch on 20lbs
5 x full range crunch on 7lbs
5 x lower half crunch on 7lbs ...Here i begin my "pain is weakness leaving the body" mantra whilst swearing in between.
5 x mid range crunch on 7lbs
5 x upper half crunch on 7lbs
5 x full range crunch on 7lbs
HOLD bottom range crunch for 3 sec... Here i remember how much i hate the word HOLD.
HOLD mid range crunch for 3 sec
HOLD upper range crunch for 3 sec
5 x full range crunch
THEN....
25 x Bosu ball crunches
THEN...
another 2 sets!
THEN...
James: "OK, we've got a couple other matrix supersets to go! How're you feeling?"
Me: "Never been better!''......Can you feel the sarcasm here lol
It was a killer session, the best one so far. I think my core will be a tad sore tomorrow. But hey, 4cm off mygut 'nearly flat stomach' in 2 weeks is pretty cool.... I reckon, the way my body is changing i will see my abs in 8 weeks time. Maybe not all six of them, but possibly four!
Then i did spin class. Katie you rocked girl! The music was wicked, I was so in the zone and sweated up a storm.
.......
Just came back from my GA treatment and i'm nearly feeling a million bucks. (Told you i don't get sick =) )GA said that my swollen gland was to do with a germ i must have picked up at Tiesto. Not hard to do when you have 10 000 people sweating on you. Totally gross. ( thanks to all my FB friends who told me i have been spellinggrose gross wrong! I'm not sure if dictionary is on blogger?) She said the germ is 90% gone BUT ( geez i hate buts')... now this was a warning...
No alcohol (that's too easy)
No crap food (I've already prepped all my food for Byron. There's a possibility we may dine out tonight but i always prefer the healthy menu options anyway so no biggie)
and NO MISCHIEF!... or i will VOMIT!....
Yes, they were her exact words. After 4 1/2yrs of treatment, I know well enough to take her advice seriously. She is never wrong.
Now by mischief, she means NO PARTY PASHES hee hee. I'm am not the promiscuous type, but i don't mind a party pash every now and again lol. For those of you whom are new to my blog, just read this blog.
So yeah, there are still enough germs in my body to make me sick if i team up with someone else's germs lol.
Plus i have my uncles wedding next weekend so i can not afford to be feeling like shit for a few days!
Anyways gotta pack and cruise down to Byron!
So this morning i found out what 'matrix supersets' were...HELL.....But i have a love-hate relationship with hell so it was awesome. This is an example of what James put me through this morning:
Ab Crunch Hammer Chair: (Arms are above your head holding onto a handle)
The following is 1 set- no break
15 x full range crunch on 20lbs
5 x full range crunch on 7lbs
5 x lower half crunch on 7lbs ...Here i begin my "pain is weakness leaving the body" mantra whilst swearing in between.
5 x mid range crunch on 7lbs
5 x upper half crunch on 7lbs
5 x full range crunch on 7lbs
HOLD bottom range crunch for 3 sec... Here i remember how much i hate the word HOLD.
HOLD mid range crunch for 3 sec
HOLD upper range crunch for 3 sec
5 x full range crunch
THEN....
25 x Bosu ball crunches
THEN...
another 2 sets!
THEN...
James: "OK, we've got a couple other matrix supersets to go! How're you feeling?"
Me: "Never been better!''......Can you feel the sarcasm here lol
It was a killer session, the best one so far. I think my core will be a tad sore tomorrow. But hey, 4cm off my
Then i did spin class. Katie you rocked girl! The music was wicked, I was so in the zone and sweated up a storm.
.......
Just came back from my GA treatment and i'm nearly feeling a million bucks. (Told you i don't get sick =) )GA said that my swollen gland was to do with a germ i must have picked up at Tiesto. Not hard to do when you have 10 000 people sweating on you. Totally gross. ( thanks to all my FB friends who told me i have been spelling
No alcohol (that's too easy)
No crap food (I've already prepped all my food for Byron. There's a possibility we may dine out tonight but i always prefer the healthy menu options anyway so no biggie)
and NO MISCHIEF!... or i will VOMIT!....
Yes, they were her exact words. After 4 1/2yrs of treatment, I know well enough to take her advice seriously. She is never wrong.
Now by mischief, she means NO PARTY PASHES hee hee. I'm am not the promiscuous type, but i don't mind a party pash every now and again lol. For those of you whom are new to my blog, just read this blog.
So yeah, there are still enough germs in my body to make me sick if i team up with someone else's germs lol.
Plus i have my uncles wedding next weekend so i can not afford to be feeling like shit for a few days!
Anyways gotta pack and cruise down to Byron!
Friday, February 5, 2010
Week 5 OSB!
It's nearly the end of Week 5 OSB and the skinfold fairy has blessed me again!
22/1/10 (2weeks ago)
Body Fat: 20.4%
Skinfolds: 115.4ml
5/2/10
Body Fat: 20.2% (i was hoping it would be under 20% but oh well, next time)
Skinfolds: 107.8ml
Difference: - 0.2%, 7.6ml
Difference to Date (5 weeks): - 4.3%, 28.1ml
James is stoked with my results so far. We did girth measurements too, he was pretty chuffed as i had lossed 4cm off my waist! (Cathy- it's now a waist and not a gut LOL, more so a 'nearly flat' stomach and soon to be abs). This crazy ab training i'm doing with him is tightening and shrinking my core by the day. And by eating gluten/dairy free for 95% of the past 33 days, thepregnant look 'bloat' has disappeared too! That centre line that separates my top two 'abs' has also just appeared =)
For me, my sub scap (back) is my leanest body part (and is leaning up the fastest too) at 8.8ml.
Where as my 'nearly flat stomach' and thighs (not quads yet lol) hold the most fat at 22.8ml.
So my goal for my next W & M in two weeks time is to be in the 19s% for BF and in the 90s for skinfolds.
Ramble time...
I've got a big weekend ahead with PT tomorrow, followed by massage with GA. I'm hoping she will purge this swollen gland outta my system. It's been lingering around since yesterday morning so i have been gargling warm salt water and swallowing spirulina like its going out of fashion in hope that it doesnt develop into a sore throat. I don't get sick per se but i think i am a little run down. Work has been pretty hectic this week and i've been training like an animal too plus Tiesto last sunday, so now i am wrecked!
I'm back to lifting reasonably heavy weights again and loving the HIIT running i'm do at the end of my sess. You know, over the years i have been told numerous times (by body builders/figure girls) that i shouldn't run because i'll lose too much muscle etc. And what i believe now.... For me, load of bull! Running leans me up like no tomorrow and my guns have been growing, not shrinking! Running tightens my legs, especially my butt and I LOVE IT! I get 20mins of complete thoughtlessness ( i'm not sure if that is even a word LOL!), bliss.
Anywho, its also my friend Bertie's 40th. Her and her hubby have rented a house at Byron Bay for the weekend so i'll be heading down late tomorrow arvo with a few friends for the night, can't wait! I love Byron, total chill time.
Have a fabulous weekend ya'll!
22/1/10 (2weeks ago)
Body Fat: 20.4%
Skinfolds: 115.4ml
5/2/10
Body Fat: 20.2% (i was hoping it would be under 20% but oh well, next time)
Skinfolds: 107.8ml
Difference: - 0.2%, 7.6ml
Difference to Date (5 weeks): - 4.3%, 28.1ml
James is stoked with my results so far. We did girth measurements too, he was pretty chuffed as i had lossed 4cm off my waist! (Cathy- it's now a waist and not a gut LOL, more so a 'nearly flat' stomach and soon to be abs). This crazy ab training i'm doing with him is tightening and shrinking my core by the day. And by eating gluten/dairy free for 95% of the past 33 days, the
For me, my sub scap (back) is my leanest body part (and is leaning up the fastest too) at 8.8ml.
Where as my 'nearly flat stomach' and thighs (not quads yet lol) hold the most fat at 22.8ml.
So my goal for my next W & M in two weeks time is to be in the 19s% for BF and in the 90s for skinfolds.
Ramble time...
I've got a big weekend ahead with PT tomorrow, followed by massage with GA. I'm hoping she will purge this swollen gland outta my system. It's been lingering around since yesterday morning so i have been gargling warm salt water and swallowing spirulina like its going out of fashion in hope that it doesnt develop into a sore throat. I don't get sick per se but i think i am a little run down. Work has been pretty hectic this week and i've been training like an animal too plus Tiesto last sunday, so now i am wrecked!
I'm back to lifting reasonably heavy weights again and loving the HIIT running i'm do at the end of my sess. You know, over the years i have been told numerous times (by body builders/figure girls) that i shouldn't run because i'll lose too much muscle etc. And what i believe now.... For me, load of bull! Running leans me up like no tomorrow and my guns have been growing, not shrinking! Running tightens my legs, especially my butt and I LOVE IT! I get 20mins of complete thoughtlessness ( i'm not sure if that is even a word LOL!), bliss.
Anywho, its also my friend Bertie's 40th. Her and her hubby have rented a house at Byron Bay for the weekend so i'll be heading down late tomorrow arvo with a few friends for the night, can't wait! I love Byron, total chill time.
Have a fabulous weekend ya'll!
Tuesday, February 2, 2010
Life just keeps getting better and better!
2010 is suppose to be the year of change. And for me, that is exactly what it has been so far.
Since Jan 1st my mind has been filled with positive energy-my motivation and determination is sky high, my training is going great guns, my fitness is improving, my physique is tightening up by the day, my nutrition habits are becoming lifestyle habits and most of all i am dealing with the stress (aka Hemmorhoid) in my life in a very calm way. And you know what? I am quite confident to say that right now, I am the happiest (continuously- there have been ultra happy days in the past, but not 30 days in a row!) i have ever been in my entire adult life! Woah!
I do believe in karma- what goes around comes around. I think i may have said this before but i try my best to be the shining star in a persons' day. I like to smile and i like to laugh...a lot, and if i can be that little bit of inspiration that helps one to change their life in the slightest way then it is an honour to do so.
Now onto the ultra cool news....
From the moment i woke up this morning i knew it would be a crazy day. I woke up late, was not organised at all - bags weren't packed for gym, esky was left in the car overnight, couldn't find my socks LOL. Then got to gym late- so had to race through my leg sess- did a brilliant workout though, oh the doms have just said hello! Then got to my first appt late ( that's no surpise though haha) And from then on every other appt ran late! And being first week of the month, my phone was going nuts too- (there were a few times i just wanted to say F#$* off and call someone who cares LOL!).
And then.... I was in an appt this arvo and my phone rang again, so i let it go to messagebank.... It was my National Sales Manager asking me to call him back... Now so you know, i rarely have to talk to him. 1. He is based in Sydney and 2. He's not my direct contact or my boss. So i was a little curious/anxious about why he would call me out of the blue.
After the greets, i nearly deafend him by my screaming! Shit I nearly swore at him too lol (Yes i have a potty mouth brought on by years of house-sharing withpigs males (ok they weren't all pigs but you get my point lol, you talk in the way that the people you associate with do)). And thank god i didnt crash my car either! (No i wasnt on my mobile, i have a very cool blue tooth car kit, where i listen and speak through my radio).
He called to let me know that i had just received a massive pay rise! WOOOOOOT!
This is my second massive pay rise in 5 months, on top of a laptop and a new Red Hyundai i30 sports wagon!
AND no Neet, i have not been giving sexual favours to get more money LOL!
1. My boss is female
2. Refer to 1. .... So get your cheeky mind outta the gutter girl! LOL
And the second bit of good news is that i had an appt with my finance broker yesterday, and i easily qualify for the home loan i want! (This time last year, i had to get a pre-approval due to my financial circumstances and only 2 banks would approve me). SO now all i have to do is find the unit/townhouse that is calling my name!
Since Jan 1st my mind has been filled with positive energy-my motivation and determination is sky high, my training is going great guns, my fitness is improving, my physique is tightening up by the day, my nutrition habits are becoming lifestyle habits and most of all i am dealing with the stress (aka Hemmorhoid) in my life in a very calm way. And you know what? I am quite confident to say that right now, I am the happiest (continuously- there have been ultra happy days in the past, but not 30 days in a row!) i have ever been in my entire adult life! Woah!
I do believe in karma- what goes around comes around. I think i may have said this before but i try my best to be the shining star in a persons' day. I like to smile and i like to laugh...a lot, and if i can be that little bit of inspiration that helps one to change their life in the slightest way then it is an honour to do so.
Now onto the ultra cool news....
From the moment i woke up this morning i knew it would be a crazy day. I woke up late, was not organised at all - bags weren't packed for gym, esky was left in the car overnight, couldn't find my socks LOL. Then got to gym late- so had to race through my leg sess- did a brilliant workout though, oh the doms have just said hello! Then got to my first appt late ( that's no surpise though haha) And from then on every other appt ran late! And being first week of the month, my phone was going nuts too- (there were a few times i just wanted to say F#$* off and call someone who cares LOL!).
And then.... I was in an appt this arvo and my phone rang again, so i let it go to messagebank.... It was my National Sales Manager asking me to call him back... Now so you know, i rarely have to talk to him. 1. He is based in Sydney and 2. He's not my direct contact or my boss. So i was a little curious/anxious about why he would call me out of the blue.
After the greets, i nearly deafend him by my screaming! Shit I nearly swore at him too lol (Yes i have a potty mouth brought on by years of house-sharing with
He called to let me know that i had just received a massive pay rise! WOOOOOOT!
This is my second massive pay rise in 5 months, on top of a laptop and a new Red Hyundai i30 sports wagon!
AND no Neet, i have not been giving sexual favours to get more money LOL!
1. My boss is female
2. Refer to 1. .... So get your cheeky mind outta the gutter girl! LOL
And the second bit of good news is that i had an appt with my finance broker yesterday, and i easily qualify for the home loan i want! (This time last year, i had to get a pre-approval due to my financial circumstances and only 2 banks would approve me). SO now all i have to do is find the unit/townhouse that is calling my name!
Monday, February 1, 2010
TIESTO!....and some pics!
SO as you know, yesterday i went to see Tiesto - Number 1 Trance Dj in the entire WORLD, spin the decks at River Stage in Brisvegas. OMG it was the best show of my life! This was the 3rd time i've seen him play and he just keeps getting better and better. I went with a couple girl friends and we got there about 4pm, after sussing out the place, we were on the dance floor by 415pm. They had 2 djs on before Tiesto came on at 7pm. The atmosphere was just electric, the crowd was wicked and the music was pumping. About 5pm we decided it was time for a drink. Now just so you know i am not a big drinker at all...i could probably count the number of times i had a drink last year on my fingers. There are two reasons behind that:
1. I'm a cheap drunk...that's right 2 drinks and i'm quite pissy lol
2. The red factor.... You see Hemorrhoid is allergic to alcohol ( i think its an asian thing) and breaks out in a rash. I'm not that bad but certain types of alcohol (no i'm not telling!), makes my face and chest go bright red! NOT COOL! and all the beetroot jokes that come with it.
So when i do drink its usually a vodka lime and soda. So we wandered up to the bar and guess what? They didnt have VLS! Next choice was a smirnoff Red (vodka + lemonade) for $8.50! Rip off! AND no they didnt give you the whole can, they poured half into a plastic cup and thats all you got! WTF?...I can buy nearly a whole kg of chicken breast for that much lol....Now for someone whom has not ingested any refined/processed sugar in 28 days (told you i'm in the zone =) ), the first sip was sickeningly sweet. Seriously how can people drink that stuff, or even just soft drink in general? Totally grose. And luck have it, i'd only taken a few sips before some guy i was dancing next to knocked it straight out of my hand and all over his friend! Hahahahah... Worked out ok- minimal liquid calories for me LOL.
630pm rolled over and it was toilet time, for the third time. I thought it'd be wise to go before Tiesto came on, cos there would be no chance in hell that i'd be leaving the dance floor then. Whomever organises these events should realise that 24 port-a-loos is not quite enough for 10 000 people!... 25 mins later....
7pm came and we raced down to the dancefloor area and boy did we have to fight our way through the crowd. I was on a mission to get right up the front and lost my friends along the way. It was so packed though and i made my way to about 5 rows of people from the front. There i met some guy who asked me if i wanna hop onto his shoulders. Now that was SOOOO cool being up so high. He then grabbed my hand and we fought our way to 2 rows from the front. The crowd was going off and i copped a few elbows, and many litres of male sweat. GROSE! And then the rain came down, this was no little shower either, got absolutely drenched. By then i didnt care, the music was just amazing and i was dancing and jumping around like a maniac. I learnt fast- if the crowd jumps, so must you, otherwise you'll get crushed! I also learnt the reason i like having muscles - to stop the big boys from pushing me out of my prime position that only took me an hour to get to! Yes i can hold my own.There were a few moments that i thought my poor girls were gonna burst outta my top lol! We were packed like sardines in there. So i kept telling myself that i was destined to dance in the front row right infront of Tiesto himself. And it was my lucky day, some lovely guy pulled me into his possie just before 9pm! And about 5mins later, he played the most beautiful, soul- touching song in the history of music. Tara, i'm trying to figure out how to upload the track without it taking over 2 hours!
Silence, by Delerium- Tiesto's remix.
The show finished at 10pm, and after 5 hours of solid dancing we still had to walk 500m back to the car! And guess what? It just had to rain once again...go figure. It was such a brilliant night so it didnt matter!
And guess who dropped 700g this week? ....ME!
Weighed in at 66.3kg this morning. Booyah, the fat-loss is full steam ahead!
So here is a progress pic of me from last night ( yes i am drenched in rain, my sweat and everyone else's sweat...totally grose! lol) ...I'm so glad i wore gym gear, at least it didnt hold too much water....all those silly people wearing denim LOL
66.3kg, 20.4% Body Fat, 115.4ml...James is doing my skins on friday and i'm feeling confident there will be a nice drop!
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